A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
There’s a bit of a cold that has been running rampant in our house for the past week. I don’t know about you, but tolerance tends to be lower and attitudes take a nosedive when sickness strikes. It’s been much better than ever before because of positivity that’s been in place within our house since the beginning of the year. Still, during the times that are more difficult, we need to be very careful in what we say and how we sound so that we don’t offend others. Simply, we have to be gentler.
The character trait for today is Gentleness-showing consideration and personal concern for others (definition from characterfirst.com).
Yesterday, the hubby wasn’t going out after work because he felt miserable, and the oldest needed a book picked up from the library. I figured I’d run out as soon as he got home, so when I got the call he was leaving work, I waited twenty minutes and put on my coat. Now, he was going to the store, but that usually only adds about five minutes onto his time. I couldn’t image what could’ve happened when he came twenty minutes later with the driver’s door wide open, I didn’t know what to think!
I met him outside and totally screwed up. I didn’t welcome him home and I didn’t say how sorry I was that he was feeling terrible. I immediately asked, “What took so long?” Also, I was wandering about the whole door situation, but that’s a discussion for another time. Apparently he went to a store that took longer to get to in order to buy orange juice. He seemed a bit angry and frustrated. What just happened?
Three words keep coming to mind as I’m writing this today…tone of voice. Sometimes it isn’t about what’s being said, it’s how it’s said. Was I sweet and his soft place when he came home or was I demanding answers as soon as he pulled in?
Dr. Leman wrote, “A man needs to feel your respect in order to love you the way you want to be loved. If he doesn’t feel your respect, he won’t climb out of his turtle shell to risk loving you because he might get hurt.” Did he feel disrespected?
I needed to ask myself if he felt like I was a loving partner or a boss demanding a response. I think we know the answer to that, even if it wasn’t what I meant. I was just trying to get to the library, but I hurt his feelings. Remember…sickness…sensitive! He needed that extra love, even if I held my breath the whole time so I wouldn’t be sucking in his germs! Instead, I’m jumping in the vehicle while firing off questions. I shouldn’t have done that even if he wasn’t sick!
Today, ask yourself if what and how you are saying something is helping you reach a goal of making your relationships stronger. If it isn’t, don’t even let the words out. Don’t be harsh, but be gentle. Show consideration for those who cross your path. If they’re sick, be extra careful!
