Month: May 2017

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galations 5:25

May is the month of medical appointments for my boys. They go to the dentist, get a physical, and get their eyes checked. It’s bad enough when they’re told an immunization is needed, but have them get their pupils dilated and I’ve allowed torture to happen.

I’ll occasionally have them get the Optomap done so there’s pictures on file for their eyes. If you’ve never heard of it before, it’s when a picture is taken of the back of the eye (the retina) and dilation isn’t needed. They think it should be done every time!

Since I was in town, it would’ve been silly not to run some errands after their appointments, but you should’ve seen these boys. They were squinting and couldn’t see because they didn’t bring sunglasses. Where were those big things we used to get when leaving the optometrist?

I admit those eyes looked a little wild in the stores, but what was even crazier was that I had to lead them around outside because they just couldn’t see. They were shocked I made them go anywhere. Don’t you go home and hide afterward?  What?

I told them to toughen up a little! They were soft from not having to get their eyes dilated every year. When I was a kid I used to experience the same thing and survived. Sheesh!

I was just teasing them and cringing that I really went there (haven’t I made a note never to say, “When I was a kid…”), but attitude is important even in difficult circumstances. When we complain, there’s no way we’re going to make things better…only worse. However, maybe the grumbling was increasing because I wasn’t acknowledging the issue enough.

The truth is that people who are very light sensitive can experience pain from having their eyes dilated. Isn’t this the same with emotions too? There are those who naturally are more sensitive to words and actions compared to others. It’s important for us to remember that not everyone is alike. It’s ok to not wear your emotions on your sleeve, but it’s perfectly fine to be more sensitive too.

Let’s make today about being accepting of what others are feeling, not what we think they should be feeling. We all experience emotions differently and it shows great character to be observant of another’s heart so we can adjust our behavior to show consideration for their needs.

Live by the Spirit in order for your eyes to be open to see the unspoken pain and your ears to hear the unspoken need.

 

Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. James 5:7

The boys were bouncing off the walls this morning talking about an upcoming trip we’ll be taking. They were so excited about the little ice cream shop that we’d be able to visit. What is it with my family and ice cream? So it may be a little quirk that I’ve passed on to my boys to want some ice cream every now and again. Really, it isn’t even a problem…if we don’t keep it in the house.

One of the best parts of a vacation is the planning. In our world that means planning the ice cream experience. Yes, this was done before we had a place to stay was found. What do I say about understanding priorities? This is serious business. I’m certainly not insinuating that we go somewhere just for the ice cream because that would just be silly. Although come to think of it, there was that one time we changed all plans in order to get that ice cream we were talking about. That’s the exception to the rule though! And that other time…never mind, like I said it’s a quirk…not a problem.

The discussion started with when. When were we going to get it? Before we unpack seemed to be what the boys were leaning toward. Me? Please…I have more control than that.

The next question that was posed was what each person was going to have. You can’t just go in without a game plan. That would be completely irresponsible and lead to regret. Oh the choices! Each person was very passionate about his flavor. I thought for a minute they were campaigning for a presidential candidate.

I was always under the strong belief that there was only chocolate or vanilla ice cream. I learned the error of my ways several years ago. I was introduced to cookies and cream. I admit that it made me reconsider my position on this very important topic. It opened doors to the single, best tasting ice cream from the best ice cream parlor in the world. I know you can’t wait to know what it is…wait for it…pumpkin pie ice cream. Now the secret’s out.

I’ve never had such goodness in a homemade waffle cone in my life! Here’s the thing though, it’s a seasonal flavor. I made the boys look it up just to be sure they didn’t add it to the regular list. They didn’t; I could’ve cried. You don’t understand! You haven’t tasted anything like it if you haven’t had theirs. We’ve even tried to have them put it in dry ice and ship it to us. They don’t do that. My hubby even made it for me and did a pretty decent job of it too. He loves me!

Next, we needed to figure out how we were going to get it. Obviously the waffle cones are delicious, and since my oldest gets his braces off right before leaving, we definitely need to celebrate with waffle cones. We’ve gotten smarter over the years though. We’ve found that it’s necessary to get the whole experience of sitting outside under the bright umbrellas with the ducks waddling by while enjoying our cones. It’s tradition for the youngest (no matter his age) to end up with ice cream all over his mouth and nose. After complete relaxation and enjoyment, we go back in to get the ice cream in quarts with waffle cone bits on the side. This way we can spread out the goodness over the whole time we’re vacationing.

This morning when the boys were checking out the flavors, they realized another store was opened! My youngest got the bright idea that they needed to move onto our road. That would just be a disaster! Can you imagine our health? We try to eat pretty healthy with the occasional treat, but I would have quite the battle on my hands. Even more important, it wouldn’t be special anymore. Sometimes we don’t have the same appreciation of something if we get it all the time. That’s what makes it so exciting!

What is something that has become routine for you? When we don’t get instant gratification, we build our character by having patience. It also gives us a reason to look forward to what’s to come.

I challenge you to not complain about something taking too long or happening as often as you’d like, instead celebrate that your character is becoming stronger! As Booker T. Washington said, “Character, not circumstance, makes the person.”

 

Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.” Psalm 126:2

I should’ve been more aware of the signs. I should’ve been able to predict that certain behaviors were coming down the road. When I look back now, the past actions of my boys pointed directly to our current state of affairs.

When my boys were little and we’d take them to the zoo, there was a rope bridge. Do you know the kind I’m talking about? The kind that is pretty high up yet is perfectly acceptable to bounce a fully-grown adult around without anyone thinking that just wasn’t right. My little angels would wait for their mother to be smack-dab in the middle, then they’d turn on the same woman who gave them life, who fed them, and who took care of them. I’d tell them they better stop it immediately, but that just made them giggle more!

Let’s flash-forward to present time when my boys are much older, wiser, and more mature. I took them to my grandma’s house last week. My oldest, who is bigger than me now, decides ringing the doorbell just once wasn’t enough. His finger was hovering over that doorbell while he looked at me and grinned. Just like back on the bridge I told him that he better not dare do it. He kept grinning as he rang it again! I think he even got a third one in before Grandma came laughing to the door.

Now that I told you about my oldest, let me tell you about my youngest. He found that Grandma’s carpet is perfect for static electricity. He’ll drag his feet all over that house and shock his brother every chance he gets!

These are the same angels that will go other places and not move. Why do you think that is? Could it be that my grandma has carried on with those two boys ever since they were little? Maybe it was her jumping on a sled and sliding down a big hill as I’m yelling at my hubby to get to the bottom as fast as he could! Maybe it was her getting out her good dining room table leaf and using furniture polish to make sure it was nice and slippery so they could use it as a slide. It might even be the fact that she’s willing to hop on the Tilt-a-Whirl at amusement parks with them.

I will say most of the time the boys know the difference of harmless fun and when I mean business. The counting to three always is serious stuff. The other day my father heard me begin the counting to these little angels of mine. He busted up laughing…thanks for the support Dad! He asked them what happens when I get to three. My oldest very wisely said that he never wanted to find out!

I believe that God wants us to have fun and laugh. It’s good for our health! Don’t you think it might be what keeps my boys from believing their great-grandma’s real age? There’s times to be serious…hey, if I ever hear God counting to three, you better believe I’m going to quit what I’m doing immediately. If we listen close enough though, He’ll let us know when enough is enough without having to get to that point.

Our humor can show the great things God has done for us. It shows others our joy!

 

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

I’m going to get incredibly real for a second. Life can be tough. Big surprise right? Just when you make an important decision that the devil doesn’t like, watch out!

I don’t know about your schedules right now, but ours has been crazy! We’ve always been clear on priorities. God is first, family is second, work and school are next, and finally hobbies and extracurricular activities are last. I have to say that our priorities started to get a little hazy!

The other night I made a decision to slow down and focus on what needed accomplished to fit our priorities. I wanted to get my family balanced again because we were starting to topple!

My first step was for my youngest who wanted to sit down and start a book like we used to do. It was a great step in the right direction and we were so excited! No sooner had I told him our full plan for the evening (and it was full), which included the focus on him, the phone rang.

I found out a family gathering was happening in three hours, but my hubby just got back from a work trip and my son was needing attention. What was the right thing to do? I’d made a promise! I would be showing my son that other people are more important than he was if I chose them.

I knew my hubby was exhausted and my oldest had stuff going on for the next few days. I had also visited the person they were getting together for earlier in the week. I was told I needed to give an answer immediately.

I had to make a hard decision. I knew that others were also busy, but just like they’d have to make the decision on what was best for them, I had to make that decision too.  This isn’t in the Bible!! Or is it? It talks about honor and respect, but can we do that while keeping our word to others? I believe the answer is yes! We can say no while staying respectful without compromising our character.

“No” is a rough word. When someone is told that you’re unable to do something, it can be seen as a rejection to that person. It really isn’t, that’s only a perception.  Saying no shouldn’t make anyone feel guilty as long as it’s done in a kind way. It doesn’t make you a better person if you say yes all the time. It makes you a stressed-out one where nobody wins!

There can be a whole lot of struggles and doubt that go along with life. Every person has their own opinion for each situation that is absolutely perfect for them. The problem comes in when someone tries to manipulate, control, or create guilt by implying your decision is wrong because it isn’t what he or she would choose.

Please understand that I’m not talking about the foundations of faith. Right is right and wrong is wrong when it comes to what God says. There is room for a few different ways to get a right result in quite a few cases though. God will utilize all those different options to get His results.

Here’s an example: two people are given different ways to encourage someone. Those two ways are completely different, so does that mean one is right and the other is wrong? Remember the source from where the instructions came. Of course there’s more than one way, so why do so many people think that their way is the best?

Let’s think about our children for a second. There are times when they need tough love, other times when they need humor, and even more times when they just need understanding and patience. It all comes from love and trying to raise them right, but the love needs to be given in different ways. There isn’t a perfect fit for everything.

I had two choices the other day. It wasn’t a matter of doing something against some people, it was a matter of doing what I felt God was leading me to do for others. It was about promises and character. I couldn’t explain all that because I refused to make my hubby and children feel guilty for me not going.

That situation helped me learn that we don’t need to always understand the “why” of every single thing. Sometimes we need to simply trust that there are very good reasons for decisions made that we may not know or even need to know about.

During my battle with the hard decisions, I struggled, doubted, and worried, and this was all after the decisions were made! It was a difficult time. The weather matched my mood. It did nothing but turn cold, gloomy, and rainy.

Was it because I handled the situation wrong? No, it was because I didn’t make the decision to the best of my ability then move on. The devil accomplished his mission. He made me stuck. I wasn’t free to carry out God’s plan.

Then, what did God do? He wanted me to see that I’m not left to handle everything on my own. Obviously, He’s with us, but He’ll also use other people too. Many people started coming at me with the same message of encouragement without even knowing why they were encouraging me.  Here’s the cool thing…each individual had a different way of delivering it!

Just like there isn’t always one right decision, there isn’t only one right way for someone to encourage. During that difficult time, one way wouldn’t have even done it like usual. God seemed to know He better call in the National Guard!

My point is, once you get determined to follow God’s will, whether it’s by accepting Him or accomplishing His work in a certain way, the devil will come at you by using every method He has at His disposal (including those close to you) to make you doubt exactly what you’re doing.  He doesn’t like focus.

Don’t quit and give into that darkness. I finally started getting the lesson today, and God made sure He knew He blessed the words I received from all those battling the devil on my behalf. The light shined again. A strip of sun fell across the living room floor that I just sunk into so I could physically feel His love on me.

I was getting back on track just as the phone rang again! See…the devil doesn’t like it at all! This time I know better than to let it get to me.

Please have confidence and stop doubting yourself. If your heart is pure when you make a decision, even if you make a mistake, God has you covered. Accept the decision with confidence and move on. Don’t let the devil win and make you go back to yesterday. He can’t make you do anything you don’t give him permission to do. Strive for tomorrow!

Also, be very careful that you’re not trying to force your ideas on someone else. Remember that you might not have all the reasons for the decisions someone else makes. A simple, “Ok, no problem, maybe next time!” would be awesome! Allow God to guide you so that you encourage instead of letting the devil use you to tear down.

 

Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

The other night I watched a veterinarian show dealing with a badly injured dog that was taken into a shelter. That dog was labeled aggressive because it would lash out in pain when anyone tried to move or touch him.

A veterinarian practice took possession of the dog and all his records. They also had to be very careful around the dog, but they understood that even the calmest animal could snap or bite while in tremendous pain. They didn’t hold it against their new charge, even though he was said to be aggressive.

The veterinarian and others working with the dog put a muzzle on him in order to handle him safely. He ended up being a sweet dog that loved everyone, including children and other dogs. The healing he received from an understanding staff gave him a whole new attitude.

This doesn’t just apply just to animals though; people are the same way! We need to understand that if someone is lashing out, it’s usually because they’re in pain too. It could be a physical pain, but usually it’s fear, insecurity, or frustration, to name just a few. People can feel backed into a corner just as a dog can.

Instead of our normal reaction to someone acting in an aggressive, unpleasant way, let’s try to dig deeper to see if we can understand what’s behind the behavior before labeling him or her. Maybe they just need a series of treatments. A program of love, understanding, and maybe even help is what could be needed.

I challenge you to make sure you’re not the one lashing out. Even if you feel it’s the only thing left for you to do, put a muzzle on it! I can guarantee you that it will always do more harm than good if you don’t.

There is always another way. Even if you feel like you’ve tried everything, it’s still not hopeless. Instead of being aggressive, talk softly and kindly with words that help and don’t insult. People will tune in better, and I’m sure your label will be a more pleasant one. It’s more likely to describe you as a peacemaker or someone with wisdom.

 

So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. 1 Thessalonians 5:6

Yesterday, my oldest needed to attend a meeting over two hours away. It was about 85 degrees and I was wearing shorts, a short sleeve shirt, and flip-flops. Please understand that when it’s winter, I’m dressed in warm clothes, so I’m quite happy when it’s cooler in the vehicle. I was unprepared for the sub-zero temperatures of the vehicle when I jumped in.

By the time we got to our destination, I think I had icicles forming! Why didn’t I take a jacket? Usually I have one to drape over my legs, but not yesterday. I just made myself as small as possible to conserve heat and not be in the line of the cold winds (air conditioner) blowing on me.

It reminded me of going out into the woods with my dad on a cold, snowy day. I used to put so many layers on that I’d wobble when taking a single step. Dad tended to do everything he could to make me comfortable, but it still got chilly.

I remember that he would have a little heater for me to put my hands over to keep warm, along with hand warmers too. If it rained or even snowed too much, he had a great big umbrella to shield us from the elements. We sat in lawn chairs to see the beautiful landscape…no sitting on the ground for me! He would even bring food to cook outside so we’d have a nice, hot meal. We were roughing it! Oh, and if I had to use the bathroom, I just walked the short path home. Sorry, I went back in time; let me get back on track.

My point about going out in the woods in the winter was that I’d make myself as small as possible and tuck my chin into my many layers, then I’d doze off to sleep. Yep, that happened yesterday too, but I didn’t have all the layers. I just imagined I did.

I did eventually smarten up and shut off the top vents that were blowing directly on my upper body. I was thinking though that it would be really nice if the hubby would just turn down the air for a short bit. Since he was driving, I didn’t want to sit there and grumble about it. I couldn’t wait to jump out of the vehicle as soon as we arrived!

Do you know what I realized when I was waiting for my oldest to get done with the meeting? I sat there freezing the whole way (hoping my hubby would get cold and turn down the air conditioning) when it dawned on me that I had my own temperature control for my side. It happened to be set for the coldest temperature it could. No wonder I was freezing! This wasn’t a new car…I knew all about the controls, but I think the initial temperature must’ve frozen my brain cells!

Don’t tell me you haven’t ever done something a little ditzy like I did yesterday. Have you ever gotten so wrapped up in being miserable that you didn’t recognize you had the power to simply fix it?

Stop waiting for someone else to make a change for you when you have the controls to do it yourself! They may be completely unaware of what’s even happening. Don’t curl up and doze off, but be fully awake to the solution instead of wallowing in self-pity because of the problem.