For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers. Proverbs 11:14
When I was feeling incredibly off the other day, I sent an email to a trusted friend that simply said, “I’m overwhelmed. Can you help me put things into perspective?” I recognized that I wasn’t seeing things right. I was very thankful for the blessings in my life, but I was aware that my feelings were messing with my mind. I needed some wise counsel.
After I opened her return email, I realized she didn’t give me a figurative pat on the head and tell me to take a deep breath. Sometimes we need that, but more often we need to allow our eyes to be open to things we forget about as we live in our own little world. I can count on her to see deeper and help me recognize I’m having a pity-party for one.
It’s so easy to get trapped into all the stuff that isn’t going right or how our bodies are feeling, but if we just put a hold on all that for a second, a new perspective can totally change our attitude. She took quite some time and put a whole lot of thought into her response for me that made a huge impact. I opened her email to find a list.
The list I received contained many items that I don’t have to suffer through that so many do. It also listed what I can do that many can’t. It even focused on what I have, but take for granted. She told me that I just needed to be smart and not let the devil make me feel down. What she did was give me a view of my life through her eyes. She didn’t just write a bunch of stuff to make me feel bad; she did it to make me know how loved by God I am.
My friend and advisor has lived through some rough times, loss, and things that I probably will never understand without experiencing. Through her eyes, I was able to see my life in a new way. It was hard to hear some of what was on that list because of the harshness that is out there that others have to face. The cruelty that I haven’t faced, along with the blessings that my family has, gave me a new appreciation of my life. I just need to refer to that list when I feel that negativity coming over me. I start thanking God for the blessings that I wouldn’t have even thought about, if not for her.
Hal Donaldson told us in his book Your Next 24 Hours: One Day of Kindness Can Change Everything to provide perspective. He said, “You may have physical or emotional scars of your own, which serve as a reminder of what you’ve been through. No life experience should be wasted, because crises teach patience, empathy, and perseverance. Don’t hesitate to pass along the lessons you’ve learned to a friend or family member who is searching for understanding.”
We’re all on a path to good things and a journey from God. If there’s a problem we can fix, it’s not really a problem. If it’s a problem we can’t fix, we know Someone who can. Either way, what do we have to get overwhelmed and down about? We always have the Source to get the resources. During that difficult time for me, God provided the resource that I needed. If she wasn’t willing to take the time and thought to put together a list that combined what she’s experienced, I wouldn’t have had that new understanding of what I’ve been given in my life.
Don’t let your life experiences be wasted. Don’t brush off someone who’s asking for your help. Take the time to invest in someone’s life today. I’m so thankful for the many people who really care and who are willing to invest in me. It’s important that I pass on the kindness. I challenge you to do it too.
Also, know that you never have to shoulder burdens on your own. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help like I did because you never know how a response could change your life. If you don’t get what you need from the first person you go to, it probably means that person just doesn’t know how to respond to your request. Try someone else until relief is found. It’s hard to be vulnerable like that, but even harder to feel alone.
It’s much easier to go to someone who is trustworthy and who strives to give Godly advice. It’s important to cultivate those relationships that will build you up and hold you accountable. Part of my prayer every single day for years was that I’d be a good friend, and that God would put people into my life who would build me up and hold me accountable. I recognized one day that he answered my prayer in abundance…thank you God! If you don’t have that network of friends and advisors, start praying. He’ll provide!
You might even want to ask someone today to make you the kind of list I received. If they want, you can do the same for them. It’s important to realize our own blessings, but it sometimes takes the perspective of another person to see our life in a greater way.
