Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage–with great patience and careful instruction. 2 Timothy 4:2
I feel a strong need to work through something that I can’t stand creeping into my life. That is a critical attitude. I hope that as I’m rambling today, it helps remind you the importance of gentleness, kindness, and wisdom.
Do you ever say something you regret? You saw a problem and saw a solution, so you just felt you needed to share your revelation. You opened your mouth to speak, but your words weren’t coming out the way you wanted them to. Have you ever gotten so frustrated that you became overwhelmed with emotion and kept trying to explain, but it just got worse? What does this mean?
My guess…you care a whole lot for that person. Emotions were guiding you though, not wisdom. When I am passionate about something, I don’t always know how to project encouragement, patience, and positive, careful instruction. This happens to me with my hubby, my sons, and my pup. I want the absolute best for them, but my words can come out critical and harsh. This is not ok.
Let’s look at the old phrase that says you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. We’ll be better received and find more success in our communication if it is done in an encouraging, nice manner rather than a sour, mean manner. What happens when we speak out of frustration? We’re more likely to have the vinegar present than the honey.
I’ve often heard people say that they were just being honest. That still doesn’t make being rude acceptable; it just repels others from a thought that was actually quite sound if it were handled in a totally different way. It leaves the other person and us embarrassed, and more likely to hold onto negative feeling rather than see a solution. It creates feelings of bitterness and resentment.
Most of the time, we need to work on our own faults and focus on the positive aspects of our loved ones. The times when we are truly convicted that God wants us to say something out of love, we need to make sure that it’s done at the right time, quietly, calmly, and with lots of encouragement, patience, and love.
Let’s face it, as parents it’s our job to lead and correct; however, there is a right way and a wrong way to go about it. One leads to respect and closer relationships, and the other leads to disappointment, regret, and broken relationships. When we correct out of frustration, we tend to do it the wrong way.
We also need to remember that our spouse is not our child. Words of rebuke should be few and far between. Unless God is guiding your words, you’re better to not say anything at all. I know that I want those I trust to guide me on becoming a better person, and to not hold back information that could help me. Having said that, I don’t want my confidence to suffer through thoughtless words either.
I challenge you to be gentle with your words today. Make sure that the sincere compliments far outweigh the corrections.
