Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone. Titus 3:1-2
I’m sitting on my new front porch sipping some nice, cold lemonade without a care in the world. I’ve left the grass behind and all the lawn care that goes with it. Sand and shells have replaced those weeds that we so lovingly called grass. There are no more lawn mowers that don’t work, clumps of grass, and sweaty bodies from the hard work…just ice cold lemonade and a hand fan to blow around the breeze in front of my face. Just living the life.
Ha! Back to reality. We haven’t learned enough from the grass to move forward just yet. It’s amazing how God chooses to use our yard to teach me life lessons. He’s filling me up with wisdom every time I mow the grass. It just came to me…when I need God’s wisdom, I’ll go start up a lawn mower. Bam! A life lesson will appear.
I was push mowing (since we said, “Au revoir” to the riding one) during the heat of the day yesterday when my hubby came home. I was drenched with sweat and a little out of breath when he may have suggested I was doing it wrong. Hypothetically speaking the condescending tone may not have been too nice. Was I or was I not helping out? Was I or was I not doing it just like HE told me to do it? Hypothetically speaking of course.
If we say this happened, my tongue was ready to unleash some potentially harmful poison with my words. However, it was as if I had an electric collar on that they make for dogs that give off a warning beep before the shock is transmitted. That warning was sure beeping loudly and I was a kid in elementary school with my hand waving in the air begging the teacher to call on me because I learned this lesson and knew the answer!
My teacher had taught me to say, “Honey…” Now let me screech to a halt right there. This hurts a little bit the first time you respond to a perceived offense, and I know you’re thinking that there is no way that you’re going to call your loved one “honey” after you feel they’ve wronged you. This is where I need to remind you about that Proverb that tells us what a gentle word does and what a harsh word does. Ooooh, I felt like a harsh word, but was taught what I was supposed to say. At that moment I got to choose the outcome.
I just learned this lesson. It was time to say this without stumbling over my words. “Honey, are you intending to sound mean right now?” This can’t be done in a sarcastic way either! You aren’t storming off, you aren’t belittling, you aren’t snapping, and you aren’t tearing anyone down. You are choosing gentleness in a moment when steam might be coming out of your ears. You are speaking calmly and lovingly.
He looked at me a little strangely and said, “No.” He wasn’t as tense or defensive than if I would’ve let him have it, but it wasn’t a Hallmark moment either. I’ll tell you what didn’t happen though…the situation didn’t escalate into anger and words that would’ve been regretted later…hypothetically of course. What did happen? Calmness. He looked a little dazed and it wasn’t exactly the reaction I was going for, but I felt like I got the answer right after being called on.
Sometimes we just have to be patient because the subject was brought up again later, and not by me. This is when the calm and loving conversation took place. Life was good and emotions didn’t need to take over with bitter consequences resulting. You don’t always need sand and shells to be just living the life.
Max Lucado said, “I choose gentleness… Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself. ”
I won yesterday without force, but so did my hubby. You know the devil loves those moments when he can use us for his gain. He loves to create division and he loves us to use harsh words on one another. He wants to only steal, kill, and destroy any good thing possible.
Are you going to let the devil get his way today and speak harshly, or are you going to be peaceable, considerate, and gentle? I sure hope you hear a little beeping sound going off in warning when you get ready to let someone have it. Please, just try it a few times and I really believe you’ll not only keep from getting the negative consequences, but you’ll soon start to see positive rewards.
