A prayer of David. Hear me, LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. Guard my life, for I am faithful to you; save your servant who trusts in you. You are my God; have mercy on me, Lord, for I call to you all day long. Bring joy to your servant, Lord, for I put my trust in you. Psalm 86:1-4
Have you ever had a time in your life when it feels like a war is raging? There’s battle after battle coming like waves upon the shore. One has barely left when another is coming in.
Have you recently said, “Are you kidding me? Now what? Not again! I can’t handle one more thing. Why is every area in my life going wrong? Everything is out of control. There’s so much darkness; where’s the light?” Oh my…those are rough thoughts. They’re scary thoughts. Those are the thoughts that the devil wants to hear out loud. I know I’ve said a few of those myself.
It’s been over three years now that the war began in earnest. I’ve seen some great victories (amazing victories); however, I’ve also faced several major challenges. After my oldest got out of the hospital, we were dealt another crisis. It brought me to my knees as I was just feeling the full impact of having a child in the hospital.
In the dark moment of another problem, I was reminded of a night in the hospital. A nurse couldn’t get the medicine my son needed into his body, so I was waiting to see what would happen. We were both exhausted, but I couldn’t go to sleep until everything was resolved.
My oldest was dozing off, and in a world of computers, I still grabbed my pencil and pad of paper. I just started writing. Was it really coming from me? I barely lifted my pencil because the words were just flowing from one sentence to another. I was so tired that I didn’t know what was being written as page after page was filled up.
After we got home, I didn’t read what was written and didn’t remember what was there. After a few days, I told my hubby about it. He read through some of it and said that I shouldn’t throw it away. I tucked it away but felt uneasy reading it. Don’t ask…I don’t know why!
I needed a whole lot of motivation, hope, and inspiration by the end of last week. I was prompted to read what was written in the hospital. How surprised I was to see how much I could learn from it! It was able to snatch me out of that depressing place I was being pulled into.
As things were getting better, I decided to take on one more thing. Maybe I should’ve rode the calm for a few days! This was just a little thing…no big deal. I was going to attempt clipping my pup instead of taking him to the groomers. He’s a poodle. It’s more than a “get the clippers out” process, but I could do this. I had a couple people (including my hubby) cheering me on.
I started but panicked. I had mentioned that I was going to try this new endeavor to someone who looked a bit horrified because I was going to ruin my pup’s beautiful cut. It got into my head! There was an “Oops!” involved. It was this small thing after all the big things that we’d just gone through that pushed me over the edge. Why was nothing going right in my life? Total lie…I for sure knew that but couldn’t seem to comprehend it.
Did I make mistakes on the pup? Yes, sure did! Was it the end of the world? Not at all. It’s just what made me go a little loca. I had to pull out those papers again. When I was trying to wrap my mind around the words I’d written, while not even sure that I understood it all, I was told that I needed to share it with others that might need some hope and encouragement.
No way. Uh-uh! That was way out of my comfort zone. I’d really be putting myself out there. Not many people even know that I’m attempting to understand Gullah. Why? Because if I fail, it won’t make a difference would it? That was totally untrue since I’d know. Someone also reminded me that Coleman Hawking said, “If you don’t make mistakes, you aren’t really trying.” It was time to do more trying even if a mistake was made.
Well, making mistakes is a part of life. We must put ourselves out there and be willing to make mistakes to grow. I learned with my pup that my mistakes aren’t the end of the world but the beginning of growth and adventure. I’m sure hoping that sharing with you what I had written in the hospital can help even one person; that would make it all worth the possibility of a mistake by putting it out there.
The more I read it, the more I recognized (besides the Gullah talk) that this may not have been written just for me. Maybe it was meant to be shared. Just maybe I’d been holding it hostage when it could’ve been helping another person. I’m giving it to you just as it was written. There’s no paragraphs or any fancy editing…not that you see that in my posts anyway!
There will be tests and trials, but you’re never alone. There will always be help to hold you up and carry you through. Questions will be made about your worth and sincerity. That’s ok. Turn the other cheek. Treat your children as you want me to treat you. Guide them with the love and patience I show you. When the voices of life get ready to overwhelm you, hope, pray, show your faith that I’ve given you. This is a faith that I’ve given few in order to lead others to me. A lighthouse shines in the dark just as I expect your light to shine during the tough times. Bring hope to the hopeless. Guide people to their full potential as I show you yours. Have faith in my love and examples. Read often, learn Gullah, and never hide or be ashamed with the gifts I’ve given you. When you’re tired, I’ll carry you. When you’re angry, I’ll calm you. When fear threatens to take over, I’ll protect you. It is better to give than to receive, but when you accept, do it in gratitude and in thanksgiving. Look to the cross to find true sacrifice. Don’t let the wolves in sheep’s clothing fool you. You see the real people, the true intentions, the energy generated from the heart. There may be stories behind ever person, but there are also walls to break down and barriers to crumble. You’ll find yourself in the most unexpected places doing work you don’t even know you’re doing. You’ll continue to grow, but you’ll help grow others. People are put in your life as a set up to your future. You’ll understand after the facts have emerged of renewal and desperation. It is up to the few to save the many. Jesus died on the cross for the individual love, and the guidance he wants to give is given whole heartedly without worry of payment. In the same way, love the unlovely, help the poor, listen to the heartbeat of the lost, help the difficult heal in mind and body. There will be a time when it seems that hurt is destroying, but in every hurt is healing. A time to rejoice in the angels here on earth. There is hope in every situation. The time has come to help and not hinder. To be the example is the greatest gift to a person in need. Have a faith so strong that the lines of communication will break down the greatest of barriers. Welcome new thoughts and many great blessings. Keep aware of the bad, but don’t let it push out the good. Guide the children of the world to new heights and victory over all things. There’s been a time of testing. Love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy. Help is always available to lead you into victory. Praise at all times, see the good around you, be a helper in times of need. Be strong amongst the weak. Don’t fight battles that aren’t yours to fight. Move forward to a new horizon with the past in the rearview and the future glowing brightly ahead. Many will stumble, but you will not fall. The hands are ready to catch you before you hit the ground. Hands as soft and gentle as a cloud high above the earth. There is one who is so fiercely loyal that you will run to in times of trouble. My thoughts have not changed. Plans made by humans come and go, but plans made from above will bear good fruit. The work from above is being done here on earth. Wealth doesn’t mean anything when coupled with bitterness. The way to the right path is through the hope and love of Christ. One step in front of another will make you strong and able. It is the weak who will not see the prizes that were planned for them from the beginning. Guidance and wisdom are waiting beyond every challenge. There is nothing that comes into your life that isn’t first vetted through the One of high. Welcome visitors as if they are the most important people on earth. Hold them to high standards, not because of the result of a higher status, but of a mark of respect for who they could be. Who are you? Answer that question every day with honest and healing. Do not let anyone make you hold your head down and harm you with small thinking. Remember that God did not give them your works, your thoughts, your heart, your wisdom. It is as individual as a pea in a pod. There will be naysayers. Celebrate. That means you’re closer and drawing nearer to me. Love shines through in the most unusual ways. What may seem like a disaster is really a set up. You may not be like others, but you can relate to others. Some will stop growing as they get older, but wisdom should outweigh complacency. Arrange your life to let your light shine. Relax your hold on the future and be ready to see where you’ll be taken. See the beauty among you, hear my creatures surrounding you, grow in knowledge tempered with wisdom. When all seems right, be careful with what is going on deep in the inmost dwelling places. Listen not to the words spoken but to the love shown. Action is a matter of movement and momentum. You can’t have one without the other. Forward progress is not delayed as long as love is there. Hope guides when trust fails. Fly in the middle of the pouring rain. Rise above circumstances to become nearer to me. I’m drawing you closer as the spirit of fear and anger are fighting to win even the simplest of people. The weak minded is tempted, but the strong in spirit holds firm. How can one see the necessary letters of mankind but through rest and the love of one another?
I challenge you to realize you’re never alone in your tests and trials. Do something when you feel life is about to overwhelm you. Pray, then seek encouragement. If this letter will help you, I’m thrilled. If not, don’t give up.
I think most people have been where you are sometime in their life…maybe even right now…maybe over and over again. Have hope, fly in the middle of the pouring rain, and rise above circumstances! I know that the sun is getting ready to shine again.
